Remainders

It was friday night and the mass exodus out of KL had already begun. So for us lazy people with nowhere to go, it was the perfect time to go gallavanting - zero traffic!

The sad part is that half my usual chums were making the exodus too *sniff*. Nevertheless a few phone calls told me a reasonable handfull were still around and available to accompany me. So the group became FJ+2, Daph+2, Eugene +1, Tarbush and Girlie - not bad la considering. As usual there were a handful of FFK-ers and undecided people.

Bibi graciously complied and got into a kimono for his set at Captain's Cabin... thus doing memoirs of a GAY-sha... which was rather hilarious.

Then we treked over to the Qba at Westin... hmmm a STRAIGHT pick-up joint for the upper echelons and the Expats.

For some odd reason I kept on receiving beers, although I have declared myself a teetotal ad infinatum... Strange.... or could it be that with the people I hang out just don't consider beer alcoholic... maybe I need to make myself clearer and just call myself a "Halal Drinker"

Catsitting

Cats have never been my thing... it's mutual. They don't understand me and I don't understand them and that the way it has always been.

Anyway, Dory and Webbie needed to go back to penang for the CNY celebrations. Small fry, of course following them, and so is Umi... that leaves the two kitties: Brush and Christmas. Odd names for two pussy cats; odd owners too for that matter.So I was roped in to "Catsit".

I packed up all my necessities (toys and all) in preperation for spending CNY at Dory's and promptly moved back in again. This time, I can plant myself in front of the TV and Astro 24 hours in addition to broadband :) and all I had to do was water some plants, feed the kitties and clear their litter box (yucks). Sounds like a good deal no?

But once returning from work, I find the two moggies following me round the house and continually staring and mewling at me... what the fuck do they want??? HELP!! I need a translator!!!

Meeting up...

Meeting up with people can often be such a trial and grates on the poor nerves. Firstly you have to oragnise the what, then the where and the when. This is often an incredibly complicated process once the arrangement is being made with multiple parties. And finally when you are led to believe that all is agreed upon and you begin to get excited in anticipation, things will change to and fro right up until the last minuite. Why oh why can't things be simple and plans just proceed as originally planned? A simple dinner with so many venue, time and seating changes makes one show up in a foul mood ... but heck, if the food is good enough, things can easily change...

Salsa

Nope, not chips, nor sauce, but dancing! Yes, for once I am not talking about food and gay bois!

It all began about 4 years ago (ish). At that time, Daph had this salsa class going on twice a week in her salon and invited two left feet here to join in. Needless to say I was the hopeless one but as am not particularly adverse to making an arse of myself, I went along for the laughs. And I must say it was fun!

After a couple of months of dilligently trampling on other people's feet my career as a sashaying salsa senorita adruptly ended - can't really remember why...

Anyway, after the handicap home visit on sunday, I received a wonderful surprise from Daph! The salsa class teachers were back in town! This time performing at the Qba, Westin Hotel! Wow! And lil ol me was invited over to her chums posh pad in Bangsar (the whole complex was stunningly beautiful, and incidently so is the price tag) for din-dins with Wilma (that's a bloke, by the way) and Norella et alia.

Upon arriving, I soon found out the ONLY locals were Daph and me. The rest of the 20 strong were Columbians, Venezuelans, Scots, Kangas... well it was a change from my usual gang of gay bois and "bananas".

Anyway, I was greeted with a flurry of hugs and kisses from Wilma and Norella and surprise, surprise.. they actually remembered me! Wilma even said I was good???!!!! or maybe it was the suave Columbian charm.. but now, suddenly I have the wish to start twisting around again.....only I can't say I actually remember the steps BUT I do remember something about counting to 4...I should be able to manage that!!

Home for the Handicapped

Richard and the bois once again grouped us together.... this time to visit a home for the handicapped in the depths of Ampang..... Ampang village that is, not the pricey end. Ok, most of us take our lives for granted and grumble about the most inane things - not enough mulah to get that swanky TAG that Brad Pitt dons, the colour of our hair, enough spare tyres hanging off us to equal the Michelin man, what to eat, what to wear.. yada yada yada...

But it is only when you enter such a home do you realise really how "lucky" we are. At this small little home, there are about 35 residents. All of them will most likely remain there throughout their lives as they are incapable of survival beyond the confines of the home. The ones who can actually "walk" their legs are disproportionate and angled. Ones who can "speak" mainly grunt and screech.

Prior to the visit, the bois had obtained a list of necessities that the home needs. In this case, pillows, bed sheets, and other such paraphernalia. So they went shopping, and raised funds and on Sunday morning we all arrived bearing gifts and a vegetarian lunch.

I was given the task of feeding this 12 year old boy who was about the size of a 7 year old. Apart from basic facial movements, he was paralysed. His body already disjointed and awkward. All he did the whole day was to lie there prostrate on this bed facing a tv, he has been doing only that for the past 7 years (having been moved there from another home) and will only do that for the remainder of his life. The last visit that he had was from his mother 4 years ago. My hands trembled whilst trying to get the spoon into his mouth but I soon found that a smile, some weird noises will result in his eyes lighting up and his mouth would break into a big grin. Something so simple and mundane made me feel on the top of the world as I like to think that I taken a little bit of time to bring a cheer.

And that's basically what we aim to do, bring a cheer, give a heart. Financially we may not be in a position to really affect the lives of these people, but for now, this simple deed is still an honor.

All in all, we had raised enough money to cover all the gifts, the lunch and even to pay off the utilities for the next couple of months. - Thank you all for your donations, your help and for making this trip possible - let's do more!

Geisha Culture

A Charity viewing of a movie like "Memoirs of a Geisha" means that KLCC is totally inundated with Geisha wannabees and every chunk of beef that struts by triggers off the gaydar. For us straight gals it is totally unnerving to find that the mannerisms of these bois actually make them better qualified to be a Glorious Geisha although WE do possess the god given mounds and bumps. But then again, I have also noticed that these mystical, graceful, sensual Asian Angels are seriously flat chested and don't have boobs! Therefore bois, you do qualify better *sob*

We are sick!

That is physically, although it does often become a mental disposition too. Some weird flu bug has caught round all my friends... and no, not me who started it! I am only just getting the early waves that has led to my current drug induced hazy stupor. So woe is me! Any chums want an MC? Well, come and hang out with me then!

Being under the weather physically also brings about the appalling feeling that the world is against you, and every ounce of unhappiness is greatly exaggerated (all drug induced too); you ARE really all alone; you have been cheated; and twenty years ago you should have received the first prize in public speaking competition but as you are a chink the Brits lose face - so gave the first prize to a blond haired blue eyed gay boi (who stuttered) instead...

Flu bugs are like being in a Tsunami. A totally destructive phenomena. Initially you have no idea what hits you, everything comes crashing down, protective barriers and immune systems all proving ineffective. Disorientation sets in.

The next day, you wake up and take a peek in the mirror... Aceh. So you start trying to patch up the worst visible bits, haul open the medicine chest, paint on the war paint all in a valiant effort to make one feel a little better, but often just makes the thing a whole lot worse. Make-up means, you have to maintain the bloody stuff throughout the day and act dainty. Earrings (which I love)... make my ears sore and itch. Drugs means you are in a stupor floating throughout the day spouting incoherent thoughts and all this effort for what? Only to find yourself with a bad case of the runs and parked on the throne in the middle of the night when you should be getting some serious shut eye...

Back to Work

Believe it or not, I actually miss going to work.. and it's good to be back! I guess the Ox in my likes routine, stability, and all the other boring things in life. Then again, it also means broadband internet connection and getting paid whilst writing blogs, chatting on line, surfing and playing sudoku (all the important things in life)...in my spare time, of course!

Back to work also means that I am well enough to drive and to even be here. So ok, I do still have some swelling and a slight limp, but how to expect it get better without some "natural exercise" to it?

Back Home and getting creative

Finally I managed to get home and back to the freedom of walking round the apartment naked, chain smoking and blaring the stero with totally un-hip music...ok, so I no longer have Umi to bring me my morning coffee and toast, no Dory to ferry me around, bring me things, and no one to spoil me anymore. And NO Internet connection. But on the other hand, I got my statues to do.

I have allot of hobbies, creative ones. I am not particularly good at any of them and the "quality" of my work tends to depend on the mood but I do rather fancy myself as some eccentric bohemic archetype. I cannot just create, I need the mood, the conditions, the environment, the time and maybe only after hours or days of deep contemplation, I find inspiration.

Anyway, before my bum leg thing, I was commissioned to do 5 statues, similar to one I made 4 years ago (see pic). So came home and threw myself wholeheartedly into a creative over drive.

As with anything that remotely interests me, I have zero talent but loads of enthusiasm and perseverence. And then maybe, just maybe a "Smoochie original" is born!

Currently am doing the first two peices which, if I may say so myself, are looking aboslutely wonderous. So much so that I am not sure I will be able to bear to part with them. *sniff*

Karmic Purification

Since 20 something december, admist all the festive parties and doo das, all I have been hearing are accidents, sudden deaths, etc.

Fuzet got sandwhiched; My bum leg; Molly mowed down by runaway shopping cart in Tesco; GL's accident on highway; People falling into drains; etc etc

Seems there is no end to things happening all around. Am trying to see all this through the Buddhist ideal of purification. That all negativities are manifestations of negative karmas arising and that they will all lead to fewer obstacles in the coming new year (chinese new year, that is).

Ringtones and Casted

Fear of MRIs, expensive docs and surgical evaluation led me to hunt down Dr.Gee, old friend and brilliant doctor who insists on staying in public service instead of heading for the big bucks. I had previously tried to call him, but just got weird sounds like static and lightening on the other end - telcos got too much money, monopolies and now providing totally shitty service cos it's the new year and they don't want to pay their staff overtime.

First thing this morning, I vowed to get Dr. Gee and this time I just got a bunch of dogs barking... 20mins later I got waves... where the hell is he? Finally penny drops - these are all bum frigging RINGTONES!....dials.... again dogs bark, and barks and....

"Yes? who is this"

Bingo! My whole bum leg saga came out and "Come and meet me in GH later and we'll do a finger MRI"

Finger MRI = seeing a leg's ability to move will indicate it's capability and assess the seriousness of damage and the actual necessity of an MRI - sounds good no?

"ahhh, nothing serious damaged, no major muscle involved, probably a minor ligament tear, need a half plaster cast, drugs, NO running around and see me in a couple of days!"

So ok, I may need to go to the worst hospital in KL but I actually begin to see recovery without big dollar signs...

Auld Lang Syne and Nearly Jailed

Happppy New Year! "May all your dreams and wishes..." blah blah blah. The most ME one I got last night was :

"If you had sex 365 times last year and kept all the condoms and melt them, you can make a tyre and actually call it a GOODYEAR!"

So I forward to all my buddies on mass of which the funniest reply came from a Tarbush!

"I don't use condom, If I used glove, I get a few tyres... a few GOODYEARS!"

Incidentally, 31st Jan is also Webbie's Birthday! So Dory did a dinner and drinks thing at home with a few friends and ME! Webbie donned her new black wings. Fairy finally introduced us to Fandy, the illusive boyfriend who is now moving to KL and well, he looks "orwhite" so far, quite chatty with a decent sense of humor who seemed comfortable being the only "male" guest and willing to just hang out with us. I am a little worried though, he seems to have developed a fondness for the twins, "cookie-wookie", and kept fondling them and making "cookie" sing the stupid ditty "I am a boy and you are a girl..."

Webbie's Mom cooked up a totally homemade noodle soup, a roast chicken and Vietnamese rolls.. I love that woman! Webbie did the punch and the cinnamon mulled wine...

Fanda showed up just after midnight and was aghast at the bum leg, which happened to have swelled grotesquely and hardened, and shortly after one, when everyone started leaving, he, Dory and Webbie decide that it is high time I was carted off get my leg sorted out once and for all. So we arrived at A & E at Pantai where I was promptly told that I had a temperature, my leg was probably infected and I needed to be admitted. The thought of hospital bills was incredibly terrifying, NO wifi and NO SMOKING... agghhh! My 3 angels all thought admission was the best and before I knew it, Dory came and told me Fanda had charged up the deposits to his credit card, got me a SINGLE room and admitted me. My hero!

Whilst I was whisked off to get an x-ray, Dory and Webbie, ran home, packed up my precious "lumpy" and "cookie-wookie", a selection of trash for me to read, and a packet of chips.

The x-ray showed NO broken bones or even fractures and upon being wheeled back to A & E, Fanda (My hero!) was throwing a fit (hospital staff only spoke Malinglish and probably couldn't understand him), and all my toys were with me to comfort me throughout a long lonely fagless night.... Feeling incredibly guilty for causing a party-less night, I assured everyone I would be ok and urged them off home.

The on-call Ortho that night came 20mins later and pronounced that I have to get an MRI and assess the necessity of surgery, but only available 3 days later! So what's the benefit of being admitted right there and then? Huge payment to hospital (even at Fanda's expense) and tasteless food??!!! NO way !!!!

"errrr.. Dory!! can you pick me up??... Like right now????"

5am... back in Dory's living room puffing a fag, lighter by RM500.00, heavier by a pair of crutches and a bag of drugs.