EB

I didn't make it to India... yet... but will be going soon.

Most of you who chat with me on line will know that the relationship between myself and my immediate boss (aka 'eb' = evil boss sometimes also known as 'mb' = menopausal boss) is usually a bit strained. For some odd reason just looking at me rubs her the wrong way which in turn gets me all jittery and blubbering which makes her even more irritated. Catch 22 really.

EB is a woman, successful in her own right. I can imagine that the climb up the corporate ladder was not an easy one and is probably the primary reason why i face this tough, fierce, no-nonsense paragon. What is not easily seen though is that deep down under the gruff exterior lies a soft kind heart.

Take, for example, how I even met her and got a job. Technically, I found myself one fine day with a pitiful CV and totally cashless, jobless and soon to be homeless. It so happened to be at the time of the Tsunami (2004). So I toddled down to the Buddhist Mahavihara (the big Sri Lankan temple in Brickfields) and proceeded to help load containers, pack boxes with the multitude of donations flooding the place. The whole operation there was incredibly impressive. I had heard that just body bags alone, we had collected some 20,000 of them. The large prayer hall was filled stacked up 2 stories high with just clothes. The pagoda shrine was filled withe medicines, essential toiletries of all sorts. Tents and shelters were erected all over the grounds to accomodate the large influx of food stuffs, generators sets, wheelbarrows etc etc. For about 2 weeks there was a constant flow of 20-40 tonne trucks, 40ft containers all waiting to be loaded with the donations to be despatched to portside and distributed onto vessels bound for columbo, acheh, langkawi.... You can imagine the sight, it was all quite exhilirating to be able to be of help to those in really in need. And there was also a constant flow of FREE FOOD.

Admist all this there was one lady who totally coordinated all the vehicles, warehousing, logistics etc - EB. So I saw her practically everyday rolling up her sleeves and shouting instructions to move these large vehicles with the phone attached to her ear. Upon enquiry at the centre, I was told that she was just a person who lived nearby and came to the temple about 2-3 times a year - not a regular devotee. Nevertheless, she had woken up one day to find massive traffic jams outside her apartment and found the mess at the Vihara. Since then she had totally taken over all the logistics and organised everything. Wow! How amazing!

To cut a long story short, we got talking and after 2 weeks of observing me, I was offered a job. Yippee! My first legitimate form of employment in my whole life!

Through the one year plus that I worked with her, I found out what an incredible person she actually was. Born in KL, studied in the UK, returned with a whole host of certs, became a director of one of these accounting giants like Peat Marwick; was the CEO and MD of some banker's association .. the list is long.

But for an accountant, she is also horrible in keeping paper trails. No payment vouchers, and sometimes multiple payment vouchers for the same thing. You will also find big huge spreadsheets whose numbers are "plucked from the sky" and when asked to clarify and investigate, these figures would be entirely accurate.

She loaned me (a personal loan from herself) RM 5k to get my things back from India. (have paid her back in full since)

She doesn't believe in punch cards, so technically you can go in and out of the office whenever you want especially since she only went in about 2-3 times a week for a few hours at a go.

When sharing a hotel room with her (which only happened to have a large bed), she will sleep on the sofa and offer you the bed!

And even admist all her corporate wheeling and dealing, she suddenly takes off to the Sudan for humanitarian aid; sells her luxury car for the world's ugliest box van- car (Kangoo) just so that she could install a hydraulic lift for the father's wheelchair.... etc etc

So why is she EB??

1) NEVER offer her food.. she finds it offensive and will not talk to you for months after.

2) Every question she asks you sounds like an interrogation.

3) She has a hang up about useage of post it notes (for god sakes! Save a tree!)

4) She has a hang up about paper too (that's kept under lock and key)

5) She comes in only at 5pm, when you are leaving the office and demands why you are running away from her.

6) Gets irritated when I stay late at the office and will even call the office to check and scold me if I am still there.

7) Will bark at you when "the weather" is not too good

8) She will NOT clarify her instructions that have been issued to you with her chicken scratch.

9) She doesn't appreciate you using initiative to improve things, and will not thank you, but scream at you for messing up her things... only later ask for it later.

10) She will not answer sms or even the phone after what she considers working hours. For that matter she doesn't even acknowledge sms sent to her. You are also not to sms her silly questions like "can i leave half an hour early today, I have a dentist appointment"

... the list is endless.

Now that I have left the company, I do miss her and actually do appreciate her for all her idiosyncracies, she sure is a colourful person and one with a very kind soul.

A horny spirit

I am only posting this, cos I really don't want to forget it. Just thinking about it makes me keel over in stitches...

I believe most people have experienced this sensation.... when they are exhausted, in bed and suddenly they feel a presence on top of them. They are momentarily frozen and can't move at all, in any way.

Well the other night, it was something similar for me......

The way I sleep, I hug allot of things, cookie, lumpy etc etc so I am basically on my side with my legs thrown across a bolster...Anyway, was totally exhausted and had just climbed into bed and was about to drift off to lala land, when suddenly I felt this presence behind me... spooning me! I was paralysed, couldn't even open my eyes, or move my head or anything else. As I was thinking of what to do, I felt a tinggly sensation around my bum! (It's the kind of feeling when another person slowly moves their hand sensuously over you without actually touching you)... the sad part is, I actually began to feel turned on and wet myself! Jus the thought of it, made me finally break out in hysterical giggles and *poof* it all ended!

What's the moral of the story... well, not all spirits are malevolent.. some are just downright horny!

Resigned

*sigh*

I finally resigned from my safe old job at Intan Budaya. Or rather handed in my one months notice. Why? A number of reasons...

1) It all our shows for 2006 have been cancelled and the next being only in 2007.
2) I was asked to help out in the Travel side but deep down I know the big boss down there... well, let's just say I don't even make his Christmas card list.
3) It's time for a change, m kind of stagnating here
4) Opportunity came up to well, make my life a little more meaningful and beneficial
5) Maybe the book "the light.........." can finally complete
6) It's maybe time to accept my destiny and quit fighting it.

So, I am treking back to India... but only for a week. Will be leaving on Friday... see you! Muak!

Misconceptions

A couple of weeks ago, I met up with an old old fren Lize, who I once knew like about 15 years ago, during college days.... Back then,we were really very close and hung out together for all the childish girlie talks and antics.

At that time, I also had another good fren this hunk of a guy, Sher. Now Sher is about 6ft-ish, V shaped, multicultural heritage, charming, confident, worldly and owned the most gorgeous peachy bum and was the object of every girls fantasy. Girls were perpetually falling over themselves in order to gain a little attention or even a pathetic unconsequential little "hi" from him.... apart from me. Actually I was no different, I confess, I drooled over that ass too, but consoled myself with the fact that he was my buddy, a partner in crime, my snooker-guru etc etc. And frankly, do I want to be part of the minions of fans ready to strip for a quickie, or something different, a fren fren? The weird thing about him was that, he could have easily been THE most popular guy in college with the most frens and adoration, but for some odd reason, he only really hung out with me (or so it seemed).

At that time I was still under the dominion of my very own Asian Joan Crawford. So I was rather restricted in my teenage romps of debauchery. Nevertheless, my days was spent with Lize (apart from some snooker games with Sher) and my nights (whenever possible) painting the town red with Sher. No girls ever accompanied him, only his much older working snooker buddies.

Soon the 3 of us began hanging out together and running away from college for "teas" at every moment. Until one fine day, when I was suddenly informed that Sher and Lize had become "an item" and suddenly i was the lamp post. Soon after, it became apparent that Lize was perpetually otherwise occupied although I still managed a few snooker games here and there with Sher. The funny thing is that Sher still called me to paint the town red with him every now and then... without Lize or any other gal. So I began to suspect Lize's intentions of friendship with me.

Then came Ela, a very beautiful Indian girl who I began to share (in Lize's absence) girlie talks and childish antics. Life was good again. Until one fine day, i found out that Ela had the most severe crush on Sher too, so although I enjoyed her company immensely the question that kept cropping up was "Why? Does she like me or was I a ticket to Sher?"

And then another incredibly stunning gal, Win began hanging out with me. For an overbearing, unhip, over weight, rude person with major issues, I was extremely popular. But why, why, why? I think it was pretty obvious, no?

After college, we all soon disbanded and went out own seperate ways and absolutely no contact with one another. Of them all, I mourned Lize the most, as I truly had alot of fun and naughty moments with her, and felt that she understood me the best. But after all that, I resented her the most too.

About 3-4 years ago, I met up with a college mate who happened to be marrying Lize's good fren. So after great deliberation and hee-hawing, I finally worked up the courage to give her a call. After umpteen rings I took a deep breath and launched into an introduction.....
"err.. m a little busy now, can i get back to you?"
A couple of months later, I confirmed my notions about our friendship, accepted it as a dead and deleted the number from my phone.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, from an entirely new batch of frens, I started hearing the name "Lize" again. Upon further investigations, it could only have been the one and the same. I began to despair at seeing this old disappointing ghost again but as fate would have it *poof* she appeared one sunday a couple of weeks ago.

All my insecurities arose,

1) was she soo conniving to have been frens with me to get close to sher?

2) if so, what does that make her?

but then, all this is moot, cos she probably hates me for bringing Ela and Win to Sher too. Ela and Sher did have a torrid one night stand; Win claimed she did too.

Gosh as cliched as it sounds; time stood still. She saw me, smiled, and came to hug me "Hi! It's been a long time" and suddenly 15 years melted away and there I sat protecting my heart by wrapping the word "remember?" around it. But slowly as the evening progressed, we chatted and the wrapping slowly came off and I felt light and happy again.

Since then we have talked a great deal, in person, online, thru sms and I have discovered:

1) No, she genuinely liked me for ME all those years ago

2) She didn't forget me

3) She didn't hate me

4) She was incredibly busy that year when I tried to get in contact; lost a phone and when she finally got round to getting my number again from the mutual friend, I had changed it

Suddenly in a puff, I realised the negative thoughts that I carried about her for so long were all misconceptions. Ultimately, even if there is an slight ounce of truth in them, we have all grown up and changed therefore no longer valid. And despite our changes, the urge to want to resume our friendship is strong. For me, kind of finding back a sister, who forgives my negative thoughts and still wishes to be friends with me.

You know who you are, thank you so much for these past few days I haven't felt so happy in such a long time - all because of you and your kind patience towards me. And I really hope that we never lose touch again.

Oh ya... the weirdest thing happened after lize's and my reunion, the very next day Dory got received an email from someone who had seen my pic on the oxbridge website, and was requesting for my contact... It was Ela, now in Vegas.... How very strange, us all coming back after so long. Gosh I do wish to see her again soon, and hopefully reconnect with her like I have done with Lize......

Fate

Most monotheistic religions provide that everything is "god-given" and that everything happens for a reason... cos god wanted it that way. Buddhism changes things a little.... they have karma, which in it's most simplistic form is that yes, things happen for a reason, but not because god wanted it, but you yourself have created it.

For skeptics and doubting sams, like me, the karma thing is more appealing as it provides for the entire scope of inequalities in the world. You reap what you sow... etc etc. What you are now is the result of your actions before, similarly, what your future will be is what you do now. The attraction of this is philosophy, for me anyway, is that your own future or rather "fate" is in your own hands and not the work of some masochistic evil being who chooses why some undergo more suffering than others.

But the subject of karma is not so simple. It also provides that certain things that are meant to happen, HAVE to happen regardless of how we try to change things. And if these things don't manifest as they are suppose to, other repercussions will accumulate. This therefore makes life rather scary.

All my life, I have been told that I will never be successful and have pots of money. Not just one person, but many many times over. That I have to use my life to benefit others. Yes, I must confess, I do feel good about that bit.... but truthfully I do seriously want the pots of money, the feeling of security... m a highly attached to comfort pampered gal. But that is not it; there's more! Should I stop to benefit others I will not only be unhappy (likelihood of turning "off" is very high), I will also receive trouble whereever I go - maybe not because of me, but its the manifestation of "NOT fulfilling my karma".

Suddenly this ideal is not so appealing and the prospect becomes very daunting; and either way dosen't sound good at all. Then again, how can you accept one part of an ideal, but yet reject all the other parts?

Yoga

An evening jaunt round the shophouses near in my sleepy quiet neighbourhood also revealed a yoga centre. errrr, not the high class, arty, type of place... but on the first floor of a run down shop house with orangey walls and not one mirror in sight. (not one air con or fan either, for that matter)

So in line with my TRY to shed allot of KGs regime, I enrolled and joined the sweat bath.

The instructor... a young-ish very fit and attractive looking woman who curiously drapes a diamente belt over her hips EVERY single class... sports a pierced belly button, and a nose stud. The funniest thing is that she also screams out in a weird chinglish accent and voice intonations....

"TTTteeehoooouunee waaaAAarth achhhhing tttoOOrk" = downward facing dog

"uuuurhpPP taAA blaaaaaank" = up to plank

"hoOOle TA soooLLdahs" = roll the shoulders

"pet-pet urpPPHH" = pet-pet (kiddie talk for your clam) up

"KloOOow pah" = cobra

after 3 lessons, m still trying to figure up the rest...... keeps the class from being boring and gives me a good sweat ... so wot da 'eck!