EB

I didn't make it to India... yet... but will be going soon.

Most of you who chat with me on line will know that the relationship between myself and my immediate boss (aka 'eb' = evil boss sometimes also known as 'mb' = menopausal boss) is usually a bit strained. For some odd reason just looking at me rubs her the wrong way which in turn gets me all jittery and blubbering which makes her even more irritated. Catch 22 really.

EB is a woman, successful in her own right. I can imagine that the climb up the corporate ladder was not an easy one and is probably the primary reason why i face this tough, fierce, no-nonsense paragon. What is not easily seen though is that deep down under the gruff exterior lies a soft kind heart.

Take, for example, how I even met her and got a job. Technically, I found myself one fine day with a pitiful CV and totally cashless, jobless and soon to be homeless. It so happened to be at the time of the Tsunami (2004). So I toddled down to the Buddhist Mahavihara (the big Sri Lankan temple in Brickfields) and proceeded to help load containers, pack boxes with the multitude of donations flooding the place. The whole operation there was incredibly impressive. I had heard that just body bags alone, we had collected some 20,000 of them. The large prayer hall was filled stacked up 2 stories high with just clothes. The pagoda shrine was filled withe medicines, essential toiletries of all sorts. Tents and shelters were erected all over the grounds to accomodate the large influx of food stuffs, generators sets, wheelbarrows etc etc. For about 2 weeks there was a constant flow of 20-40 tonne trucks, 40ft containers all waiting to be loaded with the donations to be despatched to portside and distributed onto vessels bound for columbo, acheh, langkawi.... You can imagine the sight, it was all quite exhilirating to be able to be of help to those in really in need. And there was also a constant flow of FREE FOOD.

Admist all this there was one lady who totally coordinated all the vehicles, warehousing, logistics etc - EB. So I saw her practically everyday rolling up her sleeves and shouting instructions to move these large vehicles with the phone attached to her ear. Upon enquiry at the centre, I was told that she was just a person who lived nearby and came to the temple about 2-3 times a year - not a regular devotee. Nevertheless, she had woken up one day to find massive traffic jams outside her apartment and found the mess at the Vihara. Since then she had totally taken over all the logistics and organised everything. Wow! How amazing!

To cut a long story short, we got talking and after 2 weeks of observing me, I was offered a job. Yippee! My first legitimate form of employment in my whole life!

Through the one year plus that I worked with her, I found out what an incredible person she actually was. Born in KL, studied in the UK, returned with a whole host of certs, became a director of one of these accounting giants like Peat Marwick; was the CEO and MD of some banker's association .. the list is long.

But for an accountant, she is also horrible in keeping paper trails. No payment vouchers, and sometimes multiple payment vouchers for the same thing. You will also find big huge spreadsheets whose numbers are "plucked from the sky" and when asked to clarify and investigate, these figures would be entirely accurate.

She loaned me (a personal loan from herself) RM 5k to get my things back from India. (have paid her back in full since)

She doesn't believe in punch cards, so technically you can go in and out of the office whenever you want especially since she only went in about 2-3 times a week for a few hours at a go.

When sharing a hotel room with her (which only happened to have a large bed), she will sleep on the sofa and offer you the bed!

And even admist all her corporate wheeling and dealing, she suddenly takes off to the Sudan for humanitarian aid; sells her luxury car for the world's ugliest box van- car (Kangoo) just so that she could install a hydraulic lift for the father's wheelchair.... etc etc

So why is she EB??

1) NEVER offer her food.. she finds it offensive and will not talk to you for months after.

2) Every question she asks you sounds like an interrogation.

3) She has a hang up about useage of post it notes (for god sakes! Save a tree!)

4) She has a hang up about paper too (that's kept under lock and key)

5) She comes in only at 5pm, when you are leaving the office and demands why you are running away from her.

6) Gets irritated when I stay late at the office and will even call the office to check and scold me if I am still there.

7) Will bark at you when "the weather" is not too good

8) She will NOT clarify her instructions that have been issued to you with her chicken scratch.

9) She doesn't appreciate you using initiative to improve things, and will not thank you, but scream at you for messing up her things... only later ask for it later.

10) She will not answer sms or even the phone after what she considers working hours. For that matter she doesn't even acknowledge sms sent to her. You are also not to sms her silly questions like "can i leave half an hour early today, I have a dentist appointment"

... the list is endless.

Now that I have left the company, I do miss her and actually do appreciate her for all her idiosyncracies, she sure is a colourful person and one with a very kind soul.