Playground Bullying

Boo got into his first fight today. Ran home balling his eyes out. He said he slapped someone and they hit him back. The mother in me went into panic mode... but (for once) I managed to calm myself down and asked him to tell me the story. What happened.

Well.... it seems that some of the kids down there called him (Peen Tai Lo ~Cantonese) which literally translates as a pervert. However, he understood that as a female boy - he's 9 ya). It's apparently been happening for quite a while and started when they were playing tag and he touched a girls waist to tag her. Now the girl in question also belongs to the Vietnamese woman upstairs and although I feel she is highly intelligent, she doesn't seem to have a lot of guidance from her mom. When she was a toddler, she was known for biting people and grabbing other kids toys and generally making them cry.

Anyway, he has been ignoring her name calling, but she seems to have gotten other kids in the playground to call him that too. It happened that  3 boys were down there today and they started calling him and Boo got so angry that he slapped one and thus a fight happened. None were really hurt - just some slaps before Boo ran home. But still it's an issue that i feel that needs to be addressed.

Firstly, It was wrong of him to slap people. Fighting doesn't solve anything. So he got a big lecture on walking away when people say things that are hurtful. NEVER FIGHT.

Number 2, Boo needs to apologise - which he duly did. I was proud of him for that.

Number 3, find the parents of the kid he slapped (who happened to be the younger brother of the girl who started it) - Apologise first. But the parents must know that their child's name calling is damaging. And once it starts, well, it opens up for them to move on to other kids, and also opens up for people to call them back names.

No kid should be bullied, neither should they bully. We all live in the same community and should try to do so harmoniously. There will be odd characters around, so if we can't get along with them... just give them a wide berth... Like i do with the Vietnamese mom upstairs.

That's all theory. In reality, my interference could lead to a different sort of bullying. Like Boo ran home to hide behind Mummy. There's a rock in my throat and I know i can't fight his battles for him all the time. He's gotta learn how to suck it up and move on.  He already begged me not to talk to the parents or talk about this any more. But i feel i need to - once. As quickly as possible and pray things die down in a few days time.

I love Boo. He's my world. And gosh, I know this is just the beginning...

pics!!! finally

woohoo.... genius here has finally figured out how to get pics up of me buddies from mahkota days... ok.. so the took place about a year ago... but heck, better late then never right... so lemme introduce....

shareena abdul ghani

...now wildly successful .... god i hate her...

carol chew

... believe it or not... she's a mother of two..... yikes... she still looks 18.... *stabs her in the eye*

pamela gopala

she's bloody well more gorgeous now... urghhhhhhhhhh!!!

Nina Zulkifli - sheesh..... need i say more.....


all the gorgeous girlies.... yeah.. ugleee here decided better to say behind the camera... sigh...life tough as a cookie monster.... :(

me the genius.....

Dingbat here - no no.. m not talking about weirdo fonts... but more about the state of mind that is a little out of touch with reality...(if you haven't figured that about me by now)

I put it down to extreme genius actually... the ability to focus single pointedly on really important things, internet, blogging and sex,with such fevor that one forgets everything else especially:

1) forgetting where I parked my car... and end up running up and down carparks like some moron in search of it... only to figure out that I didn't drive that day...

2) that I can forget that I do in fact have the tv on and regardless of what language, what ridiculous programme is playing (be it the news in tamil or cartoons in japanese) ... it remains on the same frigging channel til way past the last transmission and hence it is in fact buzzing at me...

3) that I am in need of a cup of coffee, that in fact i had the kettle on in the morning, had filled the powder, sugar and milk into the cup...but it's only in the afternoon that i realise that i was just minus the water...

4) that i can painstakingly type in a very long text message to important people like my boss and fbs... only to wonder why everyone is pissed off at me....when in fact i forgot to press send...

5) that i can wake up at 6.30am , get dressed, showered and head off to work only to figure out halfway down the highway that today is sunday...(a clue would have been the fact that there is no traffic.. but dinggy here didn't realise that DID SHE?)

6) that i can be in the middle of a sentance talking to people and forget what i am talking about....actually i do that sometimes when i blog too... so sometimes when you read half words... don't bother asking me.. just take a stab at what i mean and have compassion ya..

7) that i can pick up a phone and call someone..only to forget firstly... who am i calling and secondly... what for...

8) that i am in fact very pissed at someone who did a nasty to me... all i need to do is fall asleep and altho i wake up with sore eyes.. that usually tells me i was pissed (or has an eye infection).. but with who and what about... no frigging idea...

ADDITIONAL - things that i forgot when i originally sent in this post

9) that i can be looking high and low for something... only to forget what the fuck i am searching for..

10) that I can get into my car to drive to go somewhere....but WHERE???

if one day i ask ya... "i wanted to tell you something.. what was it??" - (rather oxymoronic, i know... or maybe m just moronic).. means the life of a cookie monster is rather complex...

BUT

wouldn't you say i am in fact a genius??

visit malaysia......

I can honestly say that I love living here... essentially many live a very good life. So in order to convince you all to come on over.. here are my top 20 reasons why you should come for a visit..

1) Multi racial- malays, chinese and indians with a healthy dose of expats...who live in relative harmony ~ racial breakouts being about once in every 15years or so....

2) we live very cheaply... [for about USD130 a month.. i rent my own apartment which is about 800sq ft].. all my ultilites comes in at an additional USD50.00

3)food is excellent, of all cultures and types ranging from agentinian steakhouses to the chinese hawker stalls... you can get a very big whole meal for about USD 1.50 and ensures that you fatten up and not neglect the hardening of arteries

4)we have all the ammenities of the western world, like internet, mobile phones- and they sometimes actually work!!

5) we have corruption - can usually bribe ourselves out of any situation from traffic tickets to god knows what...

6) we are cleaner than india, but not as clean as singapore - we can still smoke in quite a few places and throw garbage out of your car window

7) we are generally very nice to each others face... and are only hypocritical and judgemental behind each others backs

Being truly multi-racial we are incredibly cultural - it's only the taboos that we have to beware of

9) we don't have social security - makes sure that we work and aren't lazy cunts

10) we don't have any road signs that will actually direct us to where we wanna go - they will only confuse you which ensures that you REALLY get a scenic view of our beautiful country (best to get a map- tho updating them is a bitch - or maybe FIND a MFF to take you around... MFF, you perv, refers to Malaysian Friend Finder!!!)

11) we have allot of traffic jams - shows that everyone across soceity has cars

12) we flood and have monsoons - free running water everywhere

13) We have allot of sun whenever there is no monsoon - you can get heat stroke without going to the beach

14) we have great customer service - when they can understand ya, but actually we are just very accomodating as we will smile at ya /:> AND most of us speak english... or rather a form of english...

15) we have the petronas twin towers - our very own national phallic symbols

16) we make proton cars - and yes the metal is the thickness of a proton

17) our national carrier is MAS - "mana ada sistem" (roughly translated as "what system"?)

1 our hotels are some of the cheapest in the world... you can even rent them by the hour!!

19) the taxis are cheap too - if you can get one to take you ANYWHERE

20) and last but not least - it's visit malaysia year - every BLOODY YEAR!!

Yup!! i can honestly say... .... I LOVE BEING MALAYSIAN!!!

Actually i truly believe in a balance.. the balance of east and west is what we do have here... hence I do like living here and heck it is well worth a visit cos it has one thing you all don't have - ME!!!!

CSI.....a lil dumb no?

hey.... I love that TV show..... whether new york, vegas... whereever.... I love the follow through of the whole investigative process... but have just realised that they accuse everyone under the sun, usually within the first half of the show.. and it's always the wrong guys... and well... in reality, can they really just simply accuse people like that without much solid evidence... In truth, don't you think that they may just look a lil dumb with all their false accusations flying around like that???

Interim - back to real life

Well... it's the new year... 2007, how time has flown. And I have just realized how much I have neglected this blog... I know.. forever the procrastinator, but life kindda got interesting elsewhere.

Firstly, me blog on the xxx site hit the world top 50... There are currently about 190,000 blogs on that site... of which i estimate that maybe 10% are actually active (the rest being for advertisement purposes) so I was kindda chuffed at that. So kept blogging my arse off over there as I do have some steady readership whereas here, well I think in one whole year i have actually only posted 10 posts so most of ya has stopped looking at me. But will grab you all back to take a peek every now and then when you guys are bored and wanna know what is happening..

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Secondly, I started my new job and it's been about a month since. So far it has been rather exciting... as the chinese say "a new toilet!". It is in marketing. Actually how i got it was really rather hilarious. Not having allot of qualifications, but a whole load of experiences, put me in a rather precarious situation when looking for a job... I was either way over qualified or totally unqualified. Was getting rather depressed really. Til one fine day some guy read my other blog (xxx one) and sent me email wanting to date me... so I met up with him for a cuppa coffee, as i didn't have much to do those days anyway, and instead of giving me a shag, he offered me a job... So many thanks to the internet, sex, and blogging. Needless to say, these days I am not doing much of all 3!! But what the heck... M returning to a life of sobriety and probably about time too.

Thirdly, well Christmas and new year has past and gone. Needless to say, the festive season provided many an excuse to eat eat eat and party. The eating part I really did loads of... sigh... hence my waistline is once again expanding... (but I REEALLLLY m going to bring it down again) and the party part.... :p welll i did attend a few... not too many mind you.. But well, that is all over and time to get back to the straight and narrow..

Having said that tho, once the job started, the festive season came and well, I took a nose dive in the ratings of the other blog. It is to be expected really as I was rarely devoting myself like I used to there. But heck, that is really not so important anymore. I can truly say that I have been there and done that and it was rather exciting at the time. So now altho i do visit it daily, m not really posting and doing the rounds there much anymore.

Finally, NOW WHAT??? well it is kindda hard to upkeep two blogs, a full time job and god knows what else at the same time. Especially IF I DO wanna have some form of a social life and pretend that i am a normal human and not some reclusive perv....so what I am going to do is post up some of my fav posts (from the other site) here just to share em with ya... ;)

Internet, Blogging and Sex

Yes dears... these days I am dwelling in modernized soddom and gomorrah. I like to thing of it as making up for lost time really. How did it all start? Well a couple of months ago, when I was still working at the Tibetan thing, there were days where I was doing 15 hours a day. Working hours were actually a silent retreat for me - Yes someone was actually trying to teach me how to shut my bloody gob and to think before opening it... one such way was to totally restrict my speech and be aware when I do open it...

For me, it was a great trial and whilst I knew it was good for me, I soon began rebelling against the whole lot of it and yearned for conversation. Not any conversation.... the notti stuff... why, well cos it was going to the other extreme of what I was doing during the day... trying to acvhieve a balance, so to say. So i entered one of these friendshipxxx sites and soon began chatting with others whenever I came home. Yes I would be absolutely exhausted physically by the time I arrived home, but the need for conversation took over. The need to get REAL and well with my timing the only way I could do it was really thru the net.

As usual, anything with the net becomes addictive.. so after I ran away from the job, i started spending more and more time on it. I even began blogging. Not here tho, that xxx site and NO I am NOT giving you the URL nor my handle.

Surprisingly, my blog actually became quite popular, in this part of the world anyway and thru it I met some incredibly wonderful people and well some not so wonderful... but yes all men... and yes i did meet quite a few... ... But the incredible thing was that I actually also made allot of new friends. So what I am probably never going to meet them and they could in fact be some mass murderer paedophilic arsehole, well, I guess that's why they will remain net friends with whom I have somehow connected with at this stage in my life.

Anyway, this will all be stopping soon... or rather slowing down dramatically, cos Yes I finally got a job and will be starting in about a weeks time. So basically I now have a week to play as much as I like and sort out all my bullshit and then back to sobriety...

caio for now darlings... Muak!

What's happening NOW

ok.. So i have neglected this for a while... but heck.. have been rather busy..

Firstly... I quit again... Or rather I basically ran away, couldn't take it anymore for reasons of my own. All my fault really, I kindda freaked out and couldn't take the training anymore.

So m now currently jobless and looking for something else again so m more or less hanging out.. on line.. and looking for amusements there...

Had a bit of a fling with a married man.. but that has ended already... was fun whilst it lasted..

I did manage to lose some weight... about 20kgs in all.. still got a long way to go ...

anyway... will try to keep in touch with you guys through here... see ya

Reunion lunch

well... for the past few months actually, i have been getting in contact with old Mahokota College friends... ya... from 14 yrs ago ... or thereabouts.

Anyway, I finally organised a lunch at delicious in bangsar village for the girlies that I knew and were rather close with at that time... and by gum...on wednesday, Pamela, Shareena, Carol, Nina and I got together...

I hate pamela.... she is even thinner than before.... looks absolutely gorgeous.... and frankly i hate them all.... they all looked fab!

I can't say whether the food was good there or not... the place seemed quite packed and happening but was more focused on the company...

It was as if time never went by... just talking to them was soo easy and so wonderful!

Had a fly in the ointment tho... or rather two flies....

1) I bought along a digital camera and snapped away happily....only to come home and now at a loss on how to download the bloody pics to my pc...

2) Had a 3pm meeting and had to run out on everyone... *sigh*

The fab thing is that we should be meeting up again next wednesday... hopefully can figure out the bloody digital camera by then....and no meetings

settled into my new cave

yup.. have moved in and settled in... fully.... and now m LIVE! Ya, have finally registered for streamyx at home.. I hate the environment... but I love my place... it's all MINE! ok there are things that need doing up and also things that I want here... but for now can wait til... er... financial status is a little more steady..... sofa... proper ikea cuttlery (hate the cheap bendable stuff)... a microwave.... a wardrobe.... ok ok... it's getting to be a very long wish list... have to stop hankering and remember the sin of covertness... really deadly sin. Anyway, just to let you all know I am alive and kicking! muaks!

what's with touching a bald head?

ok.. not really that bald now... it's finally growing in and m sporting an electrocuted rambutan look.... gimme a month or so and should start to be somewhat presentable and fit for public viewing..

Anyway, was doing the daily grocery shopping thing in TMC when suddenly i felt a hand feeling around my hair! scared the bloody daylights out of me!

"Sorry! I just couldn't resist!"

WHATTTTTT!!!!

"It's so soft and healthy! SOOOO good! SOOO nice"

GEEZ you think that's why i shaved it off???!!!! You have to be kidding me!

new news of ME!

I know.... it's been a month since I last blogged and shit I do miss it. Blogging as a means of airing my weird views of the world. But heck, have been so busy I really do not know how I can really find the time.

These days I have been averaging about 2-3 hrs sleep a day. Have assignments that border the impossible and all this whilst dieting and supressing my huge appetite. In between the work stuff, have also been apartment hunting. Yes, It's time to move.

Found a small little place in Flora Damansara. The upside is that it is brand new, and has 2 + 1 (all tiny) rooms, kitchen cabinets (if you can call that nook a kitchen) and the rental is only RM 500.... where the heck are you going to get that these days. So yes, you guessed it... it is a little obscure, its about 750sq ft, no aircons or water heater.... but it does have the makings of a new cave for moi. So m moving in sometime this weekend... or rather should be moving in then...

My hair is finally beginning to grow and ya.. i did manage to lose a little weight altho that 25kgs loss is still very much outstanding... but i guess persevere with it and make the loss steady. What to do.

I used to have the energy to run 24hrs a day... and still have time for myself... that is now no longer the case and I find myself being able to sleep whilst talking in mid conversation.

The other day, I left a note for dory to wake me up at 2pm. When I finally woke up at 3pm, I cursed dory for forgetting about waking me. She told me that both she and webbie had went and woke me up... seperately. I had even sat up in acknowledgement.... that memory still eludes me, but I have been known to talk, sing and even laugh out loud.... asleep. It's a talent!

Anyway, my times up and i really need to get some sleep... another long day ahead tomorro. Haven't forgotten you guys and I really do miss my blog...

Life at the Ladrang

Well, Rinpoche sleeps at about 8am (if we are lucky) and wakes at about 5pm.. so basically my timing is totally out of whack as I only get to go home during the morning rush hour, sleep a few hours before having to run around doing errands and going into the labrang by 4-5ish and not really see daylight again after that... So basically I hardly go online anymore (as I have no internet at home and well, not much free time anyway) and not much opportunity to sneak out for play either... but i still do love you all and miss those days of debauchery and play...sniff

Evil Smoochie

Smoochie is yet another of my pseudonyms...and well since coming back into the ladrang well accounts of the extent of Smoochie's evilness has surfaced.

So in repentance for all my evilness, I have shaved off my head and am looking like a really ugly baldy or a deviant nun. Have also been put on a silent retreat. so don't even bother trying to call me... exactly how long do I remain this way... I have no idea, but there is something peaceful about not having to talk, and I cannot say, I am actually suffering.

Oh ya, I have also been ordered to quit smoking and lose 25kgs. so please please please do not tempt me with offers of food... If i do not lose those 25kgs before my hair reaches shoulder length, I have to shave off totally again... Ya, Rinpoche is attempting to do the impossible... to get me to discipline myself... so have pity on me and think of weird and wonderful easy ways for me to lose these spare tyres..

So what exactly am I doing now?

Now that is a good question!

Even before I left Intan Budaya, I have been getting more and more involved in Rinpoche's work again... this time his ladrang.

Ok ok... let's explain the terminology first... as simple as possible.

Rinpoche = tibetan term literally meaning "precious one". This usually denotes a master / abbot / highly attained one / a golden child .. you get the drift. In this case, I am refering to H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche (www.tsemtulku.com) who I have known for the past 10 years or so. Before working for Intan Budaya... I was kindda like this assistant... something like that.

Ladrang = a household of a Rinpoche.

Anyway, Buddhism is Buddhism... regardless of whether it is Chinese, Thai, Sri Lankan... the whole lot arose from Buddha Shakyamuni. But as he taught so many, certain sets of scriptures migrated to different parts of the world... hence the differences in the practices. But the theory or rather the principles are all the same only the method is different.

Tibetan Buddhism focuses allot on the importance of the Guru, the teacher. The logic behind that is that the Guru is the manifestation of Buddha that you yourself can perceive, cos he is the one that teaches you, guides you etc. So without a physical guru, you would not have any teachings at all and therefore have no means of furthering and developing yourself. Makes sense no? The Guru is also then 'the vehicle' in which you actually receive Buddha's blessings from. Thus the tradition demands that your relationship between yourself and your Guru, remains pure and as close as possible. Also to view him as the Buddha and whatever his actions are in fact that which is divine.

For skeptics like myself, this is actually an incredibly difficult thing to do. To view a person, any person, as perfection. For I am the type that looks for flaws everywhere. My mind is such that i do not really see good, but the bad. This could be because my ownself is so greatly flawed, that i question everything and come to weird conclusions and accept that as the gospel truth, when in fact it is just the findings of a deluded mind.

The alternative would be not to take a Guru at all and then you don't need to worry about his imperfections. But then where would we actually be? Do we actually received blessings? And what good arises from NOT having anyone guide you but instead stumble blindly....either way there is not much of a choice...

So about 10 years or so ago, I began assisting him and although I didn't go through the whole formal refuge (baptism) with him but with HE Gangchen Rinpoche, well, frankly TR (Tsem Rinpoche) is the one that has taught me everything I know, who has looked after me, guided me, scolded me, cooked for me, and even slapped me...etc etc

To cut a long story short... a few years ago, I started having allot of troubles with Rinpoche. Where it all originated from, well, if you asked me that question a year ago I would have told you names, who did what to me etc. But, well, its not so simple. When I actually sit down and try to trace back to the origins of my problems, it looks very much like it all arose from me. For example, because I was upset I did A, then B arose and subsequently C resulted, but if I was not upset, I would not have done A, then B wouldn't have arisen and I wouldn't get C... hope that makes sense...but when examined on a deeper level... what exactly was incident A?? I believe that it is human nature to state some reason like "oh incident A was when this one did that to me" but is that really true?? Or does it stem much much further than that...

Anyway, after a 2 year silence, where I even moved to the other end of town, and lead a more mundane life, Rinpoche decided to call me. That was about a couple of months ago. We talked, argued, screamed etc. (yes you are not supposed to argue or scream with your guru, but well this particular miscreant did) and I missed him. I missed all the things that we did do together for the years before I took a hike out. And suddenly I was excited again. So I quit Intan Budaya and joined him again.

BUT there is so much water under the bridge and things that I held in my heart for so long do not get erased over night. Ya ya, decent Buddhist practitioners would be able to let go, then again, they wouldn't have ended up in my state in the first place. What can I say, I am not a decent practitioner... or even a diligent one. In fact, I am mostly likened to an evil spirit most of the time.. and I rather enjoy the notority of being one...

Exactly what he sees in me, I really have no idea. As you can say I am the worse Buddhist practitioner, and no I am not being modest. I really am. And it is also not as if i have allot of skills that can be of help to him. In fact, I have no skills nothing..I have a habit of just bullshitting through life and trying to look like i actually know what i am doing. I am not a nice, kind, soft, compassionate person... these terms are definitely not ones used to describe me... try rude, obnoxious, arrogant..

So back to the original question.. exactly what am i doing now?? Well, Kechara has expanded greatly since I left and allot more people have come aboard... Allot more QUALIFIED people. So currently, I have been placed in his labrang, his household - to participate in the daily running of it... ya... basically a glorified maid!

On one hand, it could well be said that I could actually do much more... but on the other hand, if you comprehend the practice of guru devotion, then the sheer merits needed to serve in such an illustrious household, to be in a his presence everyday, it is in fact an honor.

EB

I didn't make it to India... yet... but will be going soon.

Most of you who chat with me on line will know that the relationship between myself and my immediate boss (aka 'eb' = evil boss sometimes also known as 'mb' = menopausal boss) is usually a bit strained. For some odd reason just looking at me rubs her the wrong way which in turn gets me all jittery and blubbering which makes her even more irritated. Catch 22 really.

EB is a woman, successful in her own right. I can imagine that the climb up the corporate ladder was not an easy one and is probably the primary reason why i face this tough, fierce, no-nonsense paragon. What is not easily seen though is that deep down under the gruff exterior lies a soft kind heart.

Take, for example, how I even met her and got a job. Technically, I found myself one fine day with a pitiful CV and totally cashless, jobless and soon to be homeless. It so happened to be at the time of the Tsunami (2004). So I toddled down to the Buddhist Mahavihara (the big Sri Lankan temple in Brickfields) and proceeded to help load containers, pack boxes with the multitude of donations flooding the place. The whole operation there was incredibly impressive. I had heard that just body bags alone, we had collected some 20,000 of them. The large prayer hall was filled stacked up 2 stories high with just clothes. The pagoda shrine was filled withe medicines, essential toiletries of all sorts. Tents and shelters were erected all over the grounds to accomodate the large influx of food stuffs, generators sets, wheelbarrows etc etc. For about 2 weeks there was a constant flow of 20-40 tonne trucks, 40ft containers all waiting to be loaded with the donations to be despatched to portside and distributed onto vessels bound for columbo, acheh, langkawi.... You can imagine the sight, it was all quite exhilirating to be able to be of help to those in really in need. And there was also a constant flow of FREE FOOD.

Admist all this there was one lady who totally coordinated all the vehicles, warehousing, logistics etc - EB. So I saw her practically everyday rolling up her sleeves and shouting instructions to move these large vehicles with the phone attached to her ear. Upon enquiry at the centre, I was told that she was just a person who lived nearby and came to the temple about 2-3 times a year - not a regular devotee. Nevertheless, she had woken up one day to find massive traffic jams outside her apartment and found the mess at the Vihara. Since then she had totally taken over all the logistics and organised everything. Wow! How amazing!

To cut a long story short, we got talking and after 2 weeks of observing me, I was offered a job. Yippee! My first legitimate form of employment in my whole life!

Through the one year plus that I worked with her, I found out what an incredible person she actually was. Born in KL, studied in the UK, returned with a whole host of certs, became a director of one of these accounting giants like Peat Marwick; was the CEO and MD of some banker's association .. the list is long.

But for an accountant, she is also horrible in keeping paper trails. No payment vouchers, and sometimes multiple payment vouchers for the same thing. You will also find big huge spreadsheets whose numbers are "plucked from the sky" and when asked to clarify and investigate, these figures would be entirely accurate.

She loaned me (a personal loan from herself) RM 5k to get my things back from India. (have paid her back in full since)

She doesn't believe in punch cards, so technically you can go in and out of the office whenever you want especially since she only went in about 2-3 times a week for a few hours at a go.

When sharing a hotel room with her (which only happened to have a large bed), she will sleep on the sofa and offer you the bed!

And even admist all her corporate wheeling and dealing, she suddenly takes off to the Sudan for humanitarian aid; sells her luxury car for the world's ugliest box van- car (Kangoo) just so that she could install a hydraulic lift for the father's wheelchair.... etc etc

So why is she EB??

1) NEVER offer her food.. she finds it offensive and will not talk to you for months after.

2) Every question she asks you sounds like an interrogation.

3) She has a hang up about useage of post it notes (for god sakes! Save a tree!)

4) She has a hang up about paper too (that's kept under lock and key)

5) She comes in only at 5pm, when you are leaving the office and demands why you are running away from her.

6) Gets irritated when I stay late at the office and will even call the office to check and scold me if I am still there.

7) Will bark at you when "the weather" is not too good

8) She will NOT clarify her instructions that have been issued to you with her chicken scratch.

9) She doesn't appreciate you using initiative to improve things, and will not thank you, but scream at you for messing up her things... only later ask for it later.

10) She will not answer sms or even the phone after what she considers working hours. For that matter she doesn't even acknowledge sms sent to her. You are also not to sms her silly questions like "can i leave half an hour early today, I have a dentist appointment"

... the list is endless.

Now that I have left the company, I do miss her and actually do appreciate her for all her idiosyncracies, she sure is a colourful person and one with a very kind soul.

A horny spirit

I am only posting this, cos I really don't want to forget it. Just thinking about it makes me keel over in stitches...

I believe most people have experienced this sensation.... when they are exhausted, in bed and suddenly they feel a presence on top of them. They are momentarily frozen and can't move at all, in any way.

Well the other night, it was something similar for me......

The way I sleep, I hug allot of things, cookie, lumpy etc etc so I am basically on my side with my legs thrown across a bolster...Anyway, was totally exhausted and had just climbed into bed and was about to drift off to lala land, when suddenly I felt this presence behind me... spooning me! I was paralysed, couldn't even open my eyes, or move my head or anything else. As I was thinking of what to do, I felt a tinggly sensation around my bum! (It's the kind of feeling when another person slowly moves their hand sensuously over you without actually touching you)... the sad part is, I actually began to feel turned on and wet myself! Jus the thought of it, made me finally break out in hysterical giggles and *poof* it all ended!

What's the moral of the story... well, not all spirits are malevolent.. some are just downright horny!

Resigned

*sigh*

I finally resigned from my safe old job at Intan Budaya. Or rather handed in my one months notice. Why? A number of reasons...

1) It all our shows for 2006 have been cancelled and the next being only in 2007.
2) I was asked to help out in the Travel side but deep down I know the big boss down there... well, let's just say I don't even make his Christmas card list.
3) It's time for a change, m kind of stagnating here
4) Opportunity came up to well, make my life a little more meaningful and beneficial
5) Maybe the book "the light.........." can finally complete
6) It's maybe time to accept my destiny and quit fighting it.

So, I am treking back to India... but only for a week. Will be leaving on Friday... see you! Muak!

Misconceptions

A couple of weeks ago, I met up with an old old fren Lize, who I once knew like about 15 years ago, during college days.... Back then,we were really very close and hung out together for all the childish girlie talks and antics.

At that time, I also had another good fren this hunk of a guy, Sher. Now Sher is about 6ft-ish, V shaped, multicultural heritage, charming, confident, worldly and owned the most gorgeous peachy bum and was the object of every girls fantasy. Girls were perpetually falling over themselves in order to gain a little attention or even a pathetic unconsequential little "hi" from him.... apart from me. Actually I was no different, I confess, I drooled over that ass too, but consoled myself with the fact that he was my buddy, a partner in crime, my snooker-guru etc etc. And frankly, do I want to be part of the minions of fans ready to strip for a quickie, or something different, a fren fren? The weird thing about him was that, he could have easily been THE most popular guy in college with the most frens and adoration, but for some odd reason, he only really hung out with me (or so it seemed).

At that time I was still under the dominion of my very own Asian Joan Crawford. So I was rather restricted in my teenage romps of debauchery. Nevertheless, my days was spent with Lize (apart from some snooker games with Sher) and my nights (whenever possible) painting the town red with Sher. No girls ever accompanied him, only his much older working snooker buddies.

Soon the 3 of us began hanging out together and running away from college for "teas" at every moment. Until one fine day, when I was suddenly informed that Sher and Lize had become "an item" and suddenly i was the lamp post. Soon after, it became apparent that Lize was perpetually otherwise occupied although I still managed a few snooker games here and there with Sher. The funny thing is that Sher still called me to paint the town red with him every now and then... without Lize or any other gal. So I began to suspect Lize's intentions of friendship with me.

Then came Ela, a very beautiful Indian girl who I began to share (in Lize's absence) girlie talks and childish antics. Life was good again. Until one fine day, i found out that Ela had the most severe crush on Sher too, so although I enjoyed her company immensely the question that kept cropping up was "Why? Does she like me or was I a ticket to Sher?"

And then another incredibly stunning gal, Win began hanging out with me. For an overbearing, unhip, over weight, rude person with major issues, I was extremely popular. But why, why, why? I think it was pretty obvious, no?

After college, we all soon disbanded and went out own seperate ways and absolutely no contact with one another. Of them all, I mourned Lize the most, as I truly had alot of fun and naughty moments with her, and felt that she understood me the best. But after all that, I resented her the most too.

About 3-4 years ago, I met up with a college mate who happened to be marrying Lize's good fren. So after great deliberation and hee-hawing, I finally worked up the courage to give her a call. After umpteen rings I took a deep breath and launched into an introduction.....
"err.. m a little busy now, can i get back to you?"
A couple of months later, I confirmed my notions about our friendship, accepted it as a dead and deleted the number from my phone.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, from an entirely new batch of frens, I started hearing the name "Lize" again. Upon further investigations, it could only have been the one and the same. I began to despair at seeing this old disappointing ghost again but as fate would have it *poof* she appeared one sunday a couple of weeks ago.

All my insecurities arose,

1) was she soo conniving to have been frens with me to get close to sher?

2) if so, what does that make her?

but then, all this is moot, cos she probably hates me for bringing Ela and Win to Sher too. Ela and Sher did have a torrid one night stand; Win claimed she did too.

Gosh as cliched as it sounds; time stood still. She saw me, smiled, and came to hug me "Hi! It's been a long time" and suddenly 15 years melted away and there I sat protecting my heart by wrapping the word "remember?" around it. But slowly as the evening progressed, we chatted and the wrapping slowly came off and I felt light and happy again.

Since then we have talked a great deal, in person, online, thru sms and I have discovered:

1) No, she genuinely liked me for ME all those years ago

2) She didn't forget me

3) She didn't hate me

4) She was incredibly busy that year when I tried to get in contact; lost a phone and when she finally got round to getting my number again from the mutual friend, I had changed it

Suddenly in a puff, I realised the negative thoughts that I carried about her for so long were all misconceptions. Ultimately, even if there is an slight ounce of truth in them, we have all grown up and changed therefore no longer valid. And despite our changes, the urge to want to resume our friendship is strong. For me, kind of finding back a sister, who forgives my negative thoughts and still wishes to be friends with me.

You know who you are, thank you so much for these past few days I haven't felt so happy in such a long time - all because of you and your kind patience towards me. And I really hope that we never lose touch again.

Oh ya... the weirdest thing happened after lize's and my reunion, the very next day Dory got received an email from someone who had seen my pic on the oxbridge website, and was requesting for my contact... It was Ela, now in Vegas.... How very strange, us all coming back after so long. Gosh I do wish to see her again soon, and hopefully reconnect with her like I have done with Lize......

Fate

Most monotheistic religions provide that everything is "god-given" and that everything happens for a reason... cos god wanted it that way. Buddhism changes things a little.... they have karma, which in it's most simplistic form is that yes, things happen for a reason, but not because god wanted it, but you yourself have created it.

For skeptics and doubting sams, like me, the karma thing is more appealing as it provides for the entire scope of inequalities in the world. You reap what you sow... etc etc. What you are now is the result of your actions before, similarly, what your future will be is what you do now. The attraction of this is philosophy, for me anyway, is that your own future or rather "fate" is in your own hands and not the work of some masochistic evil being who chooses why some undergo more suffering than others.

But the subject of karma is not so simple. It also provides that certain things that are meant to happen, HAVE to happen regardless of how we try to change things. And if these things don't manifest as they are suppose to, other repercussions will accumulate. This therefore makes life rather scary.

All my life, I have been told that I will never be successful and have pots of money. Not just one person, but many many times over. That I have to use my life to benefit others. Yes, I must confess, I do feel good about that bit.... but truthfully I do seriously want the pots of money, the feeling of security... m a highly attached to comfort pampered gal. But that is not it; there's more! Should I stop to benefit others I will not only be unhappy (likelihood of turning "off" is very high), I will also receive trouble whereever I go - maybe not because of me, but its the manifestation of "NOT fulfilling my karma".

Suddenly this ideal is not so appealing and the prospect becomes very daunting; and either way dosen't sound good at all. Then again, how can you accept one part of an ideal, but yet reject all the other parts?

Yoga

An evening jaunt round the shophouses near in my sleepy quiet neighbourhood also revealed a yoga centre. errrr, not the high class, arty, type of place... but on the first floor of a run down shop house with orangey walls and not one mirror in sight. (not one air con or fan either, for that matter)

So in line with my TRY to shed allot of KGs regime, I enrolled and joined the sweat bath.

The instructor... a young-ish very fit and attractive looking woman who curiously drapes a diamente belt over her hips EVERY single class... sports a pierced belly button, and a nose stud. The funniest thing is that she also screams out in a weird chinglish accent and voice intonations....

"TTTteeehoooouunee waaaAAarth achhhhing tttoOOrk" = downward facing dog

"uuuurhpPP taAA blaaaaaank" = up to plank

"hoOOle TA soooLLdahs" = roll the shoulders

"pet-pet urpPPHH" = pet-pet (kiddie talk for your clam) up

"KloOOow pah" = cobra

after 3 lessons, m still trying to figure up the rest...... keeps the class from being boring and gives me a good sweat ... so wot da 'eck!

Training your MAN

Was having an interesting conversation with a few friends the other night about dealing with "the hubby". Mrs expat had just undergone life saving surgery and was bemoaning about how insensitve, totally blase and unhelpful her hubby is despite her recent trauma.

"He won't even get the groceries!!! And he knows full well I can't carry things!!!"

(as i have no hubby, there really was not much I could comment on this subject apart from the usually "poor dear, what an ass of a hubby")

Mr. single banker then jumped in and stated "well, it's really quite basic. There are two types of men. The kind, sensitive, in touch with his feminine side ones.....and the alpha male, I am tarzan, king of the jungle type, pick one."

(am not quoting verbatim... my memory is not that great.. but you get the gist)

Mrs Expat: hmmm, i think mine is of the latter

Mr. Single banker: Ah, then it's really quite simple... it's all a matter of training the bloke then. Alpha males need to be rewarded and the simplest ways for them to comprehend is through sex.

Mrs Expat: but i am not allowed to after my surgery.... not for another 3 months! So even I am not getting any???!!!!

Mr. Single banker (groans): other ways to bring a man off.... for your type of man, he doesn't care how he gets off, as long as he does so!!!

Mrs. Expat (unconvinced): well, i suppose so... but what, I reward him although I am pissed with him???

Mr. Single banker: NO NO... training my dear, training. Tell him, he gets the groceries, he gets 1 hand job. He gets the groceries AND puts them away, he gets a blow job...... etc etc...

what an interesting notion! It sure had me stumped as basic household chores become negotiated by way of barter trading with, well, probably the world's oldest profession as currency....

Dumb Waiters

A talk by Lord Chief Justice Sir David Neuberger on "Humor and the Law".... and it's under that pretext that I was hanging at the British High Commisioner's Residence in Langkak Golf munching sinful spuds.

But whilst everything was all elegant and posh, it also happens that it is at such places that you find the dumbest waiters...

Yes, us girlies went to recuit one to take a nice pic of us doled up... but unfortunately he just didn't know where to point the camera... and hence, came out with this wonderful pic of us.....

our feet!

Well what to say, they is a reason that they are waiters!

The talk itself was surprisingly light and extremely humorous with the speaker telling cute anecdotes on faux pas committed in the somber, proper courtrooms. Dry, dry, British stiff upper lip humour.......

Spuds - they deserve their own entry

Gosh, I do miss real spuds. Ya ya, we do get fries out here in KL. But what I mean is the type that is actually crunchy on the outside and meltingly soft in the middle. Fresh and Hot!

En Angleterre, land of the potato people, it was in abundance... but out here you always feel that they are somehow fake (no matter how supposedly genuine they are written up to be).

Now last night, I was invited by Dory to the Oxbridge doda at the British High Commissioner's Residence... Oh ya, I got to mix with the super-intellectuals and to my surprise there was a big plate of roasted cum sauted potatoes... to the horror of all the brains, i simply gushed, mooned and simpered over this plate of spuds.... frightfully embarrasing; but is just couldn't help myself I spooned as many as possible onto my plate, til the watchful indian guy's face turned hostile.

Oh how I wish for a decent place here in KL that will produce me some wonderba potatoes...

OH I KNOW, I KNOW.... EVIL CARBS AGAIN!

Detox!

When I start having nightmares that my shit is green in colour, It's an omen and I know something is seriously wrong.

So over the weekend I dragged myself over to Petaling Street and stocked up on a serious load of fruits (grapefruits, left over CNY mandarins, bananas, Japanese pears) and embarked on a detox thing. Basically all you have to do is ONLY eat fruits for 3 days. Sounds easy, no?

OH MI GOD!!! I was fainting, palpitating, hormonal, lifeless... it was horrible! I seriously felt like I am dying. My stomach was grumbling... was so hungry I could have chewed off my own arm!!!

To add insult to injury I have all my evil chums (them deliberately hamming it up despite my advertisement of my current culinary HELL) continually tempting me with delights and some even offering me FREE EVIL FOOD!

1) Fairy - her frigging pizza she scoffed
2) Fuzet - Chocolates at the Shang or Japenese at Kampachi?
3) Fanda - Steak, spuds, desserts
4) Dory - Duck
etc etc .. you get the pic.. I hate each and every one of them!!?!?!

So three days on what can I say:-

1) I am addicted to my evil carbs. I love them. They make me orgasmic!

2) I am totally undisciplined (I had a fling with an almond croissant on the second day... and a one-night stand with half a roast chicken)

And I might as well just face these facts and get on with it......

Puteri Gunung Ledang

Its a Malaysian Legendary Tale.... I was supposed to watch the movie that came out about 6ish years ago but well, 6ish years later, I still didn't know the story. Anyway, Sonny flashed over the IM asking whether I would like to go, well why not? It sounds interesting. And anyway, the tickets are cheap - comparatively.

Catagory A seats are Rm 150, Catagory B seats are RM 100. There are also plenty of Cat B seats in the stalls. And heck, if you are some kind of Celcom user, you should also be entitled to a 30% discount (exactly how that works, I don't have the faintest idea, my buddy at IB box office arranged it for me that I paid RM 106.50 for a RM 151.50 tick)

So last night (Valentine's day) I forght a hellish jam to Istana Budaya (what's with KL when it rains?? Traffic is total CHAOS) and found that the show was delayed for half and hour because too many people were still stuck in traffic jam. Poor Sonny and Szeto took about 1 1/2 hours to get there from their place and managed to arrive, just in time for the opening. Phew!

The show last night was sold out. And I could see why. It was really very well done and I must say it exceeded my expectations. The scenery, the music, costumes, choreography... was really quite spectacular.

The storyline... well it's not much to shout about, it's a love story. Stephen Rahman-Hughes who takes the male lead well, let's just say he looks better in real life and he can sing (with a slight lisp). Tiara Jacquelina she does have stage charisma and can also sing. Let's be fair now... KL is no broadway or west end. And the actors may not be of sterling caliber, the mic system (some tweaking need to be done) but heck.. for a hundred bucks a throw, it's well worth it!

For those like me, clueless to our national language, no fear, there are SURTITLES in ENGLISH. But would strongly advise that you read the synopsis before watching the show.. cos reading too many surtitles can cause serious headaches.

Afternoon naps

I love them, especially on a lazy rainy day, with soft music playing in the back ground, in a cool dark room, snuggled up to cookie, wookie, and lumpy....life is bliss

My big problem is that I can't sleep at night after an afternoon nap and at 4.30am my eyes are still wide open and am tossing and turning trying to lull myself off... and once I do drift off it's only three and a half hours til i have to wake up and toddle of to work. Which makes a hellish day at work as my eyes feel raw and sunken, i get a headache and itch for an afternoon nap....

Popping up in Odd places

Like any genuine cookie monster, I do have a penchant for popping up in the weirdest places.

All dolled up in my purple trench DRESS, I smooched on over to the Lim family CNY party. I have been best friends with their third daughter (Immy) for the past 15 years and have thus known the family since my wild days. During those days, I was given a wide berth and they despaired at their precious daughter mixing with an uncouth, unkempt, slag-a-like. But heck, after so many years... well I matured somewhat and they finally come to the conculsion that I am not as harmful as I look.

Although Immy is not even in Malaysia, well I have imposed myself often enough to be considered an "old friend of at least one member of the family". So aunty issued the invite and moi "never mind the diet, give face la!"

Anyway, once i arrived, etiquette requires me to greet each family member before attacking the buffet tables... so I dutifully did the rounds until I finally schleped over to 4th sis, Li.

"Gerry, what on earth are you doing appearing on Oxbridge alumni functions?" Since you don't even have one frigging A level!!!

Er Er Er, I only appear at the food ones.... *blushed*

Ya, but every other function???!!!

Well, what can I say, I have connections! Thanks Dory!

that's not all yet...

As I was about to slink off after stuffing my face, I was grabbed to say hi

"Oh hi Hsien, Dato..."

er er er... aren't you my father's staff????

I grinned and finally managed to make an exit into the rainy night......time to get to that PORN stall......

Why am I dressed in a purple trench coat?

Reasons being:

1) Big boss coming in... need to look somewhat respectable
2) Have a dinner tonight and need to look respectable for that too

So something office-ish...something different... don't want to wear the same ol stuff... no money to shop... hence the purple trench coat thing...

anyway, everyone who knows me knows that i am a few cards short of a full deck... so what the heck! How many times a year can i walk around in this get up ??? For all the plebs out there it's a trench DRESS not a coat!!! and NO I am not an exhitbitionist enough to flash you!!!!

My quiet sleepy neighbourhood...

Usually when people ask me where I live I will reply "Desa Petaling"... and invariably I will receive "Where's that?"

My stock answers:

1) "on the way to Seremban, near the S.g Besi Toll"

2) "you know the funeral parlour, Nirvana... well if you stand near there and scream my name, someone or something will usually come running..."

Needless to say, that's how obscure Desa Petaling is... but I like it - the rent is cheap!

Anyway, I have recently taken up walking in the evenings (meager attempt to shed some of those CNY excesses) and walk around the small mingy set of shops just outside my apartment. 1 round will take me about 7 mins.... I do about 5-6 rounds...

Last night, on my first round I noticed an illegal VCD stall sprung up on the corner... yippee!...but on my second round, it has miraculously disappeared!... on my third round... it had suddenly appeared again... so i was not hallucinating after all! By the forth round the light bulb turned on "It's selling porn!!"

....so much for my quiet sleepy obscure neighbourhood....

Foie Gras

I love foie gras! - the most delicious of which is being served up at Cafe Cafe - at RM 48 per platter (3 measely slices only) but what exactly is it??

Dictionary.com provides:

foie gras
n : a pate made from goose liver (marinated in cognac) and truffles [syn: pate de foie gras]

Sounds Good, no?

until Google provided me with:

http://www.hsus.org/farm_animals/factory_farms/foie_gras.html

Yikes!!!! Awww *sniff* - the question now remains...will i keep eating the stuff....

Rum Jungle

I was lured by an intriguing sms from Chacko to the Rum Jungle.

"thatched hut with a china man in a loin cloth"

So I treked on over and found it was the old Bollywood place but now sans bangra and hello Tasmanian (or is it Tanzanian) reggae band. I must say, quite happening and I did enjoy it. Though I can't really tell which I enjoyed more... wathching Chacko bop or the place itself. And as my luck would have it... NO Chinaman in the loin cloth - he took 1 month leave for CNY. So didn't get any chances to grope and maul legally...

Back to work

After such a long CNY break, I must say, I am almost glad to return to work. All that indiscriminate assualt on sensory pleasures is only fun in small doses.

Well.. I guess i got my wish... I have a whole year before all this happens again.

By the way, don't mess around with Cats. They are Vengeful and sneaky about it! They shit all over the floors to show their displeasure....

Chinese New Year Celebrations!

I am sure that there are much more deeper meanings to CNY - but for me, it's a time for reunions, eating, shopping, eating, visiting, eating, gambling, ungpoas and more eating...

Hey don't get me wrong... I LURVE food and all the other sensual pleasures, I even like the traditions, selectively. I even do the Chinese Aunty thing and share oranges (in exchange for ung poas that don't rattle).

But by the 3rd day, the clothes start to groan, the scales go on strike and all we have to look forward to is fruit and water diets only....

The Upside is that I learned the basics of 3-leg mahjong, 3 cards, and how to surf Astro AND the Net at the same time. I love CNY....

Remainders

It was friday night and the mass exodus out of KL had already begun. So for us lazy people with nowhere to go, it was the perfect time to go gallavanting - zero traffic!

The sad part is that half my usual chums were making the exodus too *sniff*. Nevertheless a few phone calls told me a reasonable handfull were still around and available to accompany me. So the group became FJ+2, Daph+2, Eugene +1, Tarbush and Girlie - not bad la considering. As usual there were a handful of FFK-ers and undecided people.

Bibi graciously complied and got into a kimono for his set at Captain's Cabin... thus doing memoirs of a GAY-sha... which was rather hilarious.

Then we treked over to the Qba at Westin... hmmm a STRAIGHT pick-up joint for the upper echelons and the Expats.

For some odd reason I kept on receiving beers, although I have declared myself a teetotal ad infinatum... Strange.... or could it be that with the people I hang out just don't consider beer alcoholic... maybe I need to make myself clearer and just call myself a "Halal Drinker"

Catsitting

Cats have never been my thing... it's mutual. They don't understand me and I don't understand them and that the way it has always been.

Anyway, Dory and Webbie needed to go back to penang for the CNY celebrations. Small fry, of course following them, and so is Umi... that leaves the two kitties: Brush and Christmas. Odd names for two pussy cats; odd owners too for that matter.So I was roped in to "Catsit".

I packed up all my necessities (toys and all) in preperation for spending CNY at Dory's and promptly moved back in again. This time, I can plant myself in front of the TV and Astro 24 hours in addition to broadband :) and all I had to do was water some plants, feed the kitties and clear their litter box (yucks). Sounds like a good deal no?

But once returning from work, I find the two moggies following me round the house and continually staring and mewling at me... what the fuck do they want??? HELP!! I need a translator!!!

Meeting up...

Meeting up with people can often be such a trial and grates on the poor nerves. Firstly you have to oragnise the what, then the where and the when. This is often an incredibly complicated process once the arrangement is being made with multiple parties. And finally when you are led to believe that all is agreed upon and you begin to get excited in anticipation, things will change to and fro right up until the last minuite. Why oh why can't things be simple and plans just proceed as originally planned? A simple dinner with so many venue, time and seating changes makes one show up in a foul mood ... but heck, if the food is good enough, things can easily change...

Salsa

Nope, not chips, nor sauce, but dancing! Yes, for once I am not talking about food and gay bois!

It all began about 4 years ago (ish). At that time, Daph had this salsa class going on twice a week in her salon and invited two left feet here to join in. Needless to say I was the hopeless one but as am not particularly adverse to making an arse of myself, I went along for the laughs. And I must say it was fun!

After a couple of months of dilligently trampling on other people's feet my career as a sashaying salsa senorita adruptly ended - can't really remember why...

Anyway, after the handicap home visit on sunday, I received a wonderful surprise from Daph! The salsa class teachers were back in town! This time performing at the Qba, Westin Hotel! Wow! And lil ol me was invited over to her chums posh pad in Bangsar (the whole complex was stunningly beautiful, and incidently so is the price tag) for din-dins with Wilma (that's a bloke, by the way) and Norella et alia.

Upon arriving, I soon found out the ONLY locals were Daph and me. The rest of the 20 strong were Columbians, Venezuelans, Scots, Kangas... well it was a change from my usual gang of gay bois and "bananas".

Anyway, I was greeted with a flurry of hugs and kisses from Wilma and Norella and surprise, surprise.. they actually remembered me! Wilma even said I was good???!!!! or maybe it was the suave Columbian charm.. but now, suddenly I have the wish to start twisting around again.....only I can't say I actually remember the steps BUT I do remember something about counting to 4...I should be able to manage that!!

Home for the Handicapped

Richard and the bois once again grouped us together.... this time to visit a home for the handicapped in the depths of Ampang..... Ampang village that is, not the pricey end. Ok, most of us take our lives for granted and grumble about the most inane things - not enough mulah to get that swanky TAG that Brad Pitt dons, the colour of our hair, enough spare tyres hanging off us to equal the Michelin man, what to eat, what to wear.. yada yada yada...

But it is only when you enter such a home do you realise really how "lucky" we are. At this small little home, there are about 35 residents. All of them will most likely remain there throughout their lives as they are incapable of survival beyond the confines of the home. The ones who can actually "walk" their legs are disproportionate and angled. Ones who can "speak" mainly grunt and screech.

Prior to the visit, the bois had obtained a list of necessities that the home needs. In this case, pillows, bed sheets, and other such paraphernalia. So they went shopping, and raised funds and on Sunday morning we all arrived bearing gifts and a vegetarian lunch.

I was given the task of feeding this 12 year old boy who was about the size of a 7 year old. Apart from basic facial movements, he was paralysed. His body already disjointed and awkward. All he did the whole day was to lie there prostrate on this bed facing a tv, he has been doing only that for the past 7 years (having been moved there from another home) and will only do that for the remainder of his life. The last visit that he had was from his mother 4 years ago. My hands trembled whilst trying to get the spoon into his mouth but I soon found that a smile, some weird noises will result in his eyes lighting up and his mouth would break into a big grin. Something so simple and mundane made me feel on the top of the world as I like to think that I taken a little bit of time to bring a cheer.

And that's basically what we aim to do, bring a cheer, give a heart. Financially we may not be in a position to really affect the lives of these people, but for now, this simple deed is still an honor.

All in all, we had raised enough money to cover all the gifts, the lunch and even to pay off the utilities for the next couple of months. - Thank you all for your donations, your help and for making this trip possible - let's do more!

Geisha Culture

A Charity viewing of a movie like "Memoirs of a Geisha" means that KLCC is totally inundated with Geisha wannabees and every chunk of beef that struts by triggers off the gaydar. For us straight gals it is totally unnerving to find that the mannerisms of these bois actually make them better qualified to be a Glorious Geisha although WE do possess the god given mounds and bumps. But then again, I have also noticed that these mystical, graceful, sensual Asian Angels are seriously flat chested and don't have boobs! Therefore bois, you do qualify better *sob*

We are sick!

That is physically, although it does often become a mental disposition too. Some weird flu bug has caught round all my friends... and no, not me who started it! I am only just getting the early waves that has led to my current drug induced hazy stupor. So woe is me! Any chums want an MC? Well, come and hang out with me then!

Being under the weather physically also brings about the appalling feeling that the world is against you, and every ounce of unhappiness is greatly exaggerated (all drug induced too); you ARE really all alone; you have been cheated; and twenty years ago you should have received the first prize in public speaking competition but as you are a chink the Brits lose face - so gave the first prize to a blond haired blue eyed gay boi (who stuttered) instead...

Flu bugs are like being in a Tsunami. A totally destructive phenomena. Initially you have no idea what hits you, everything comes crashing down, protective barriers and immune systems all proving ineffective. Disorientation sets in.

The next day, you wake up and take a peek in the mirror... Aceh. So you start trying to patch up the worst visible bits, haul open the medicine chest, paint on the war paint all in a valiant effort to make one feel a little better, but often just makes the thing a whole lot worse. Make-up means, you have to maintain the bloody stuff throughout the day and act dainty. Earrings (which I love)... make my ears sore and itch. Drugs means you are in a stupor floating throughout the day spouting incoherent thoughts and all this effort for what? Only to find yourself with a bad case of the runs and parked on the throne in the middle of the night when you should be getting some serious shut eye...

Back to Work

Believe it or not, I actually miss going to work.. and it's good to be back! I guess the Ox in my likes routine, stability, and all the other boring things in life. Then again, it also means broadband internet connection and getting paid whilst writing blogs, chatting on line, surfing and playing sudoku (all the important things in life)...in my spare time, of course!

Back to work also means that I am well enough to drive and to even be here. So ok, I do still have some swelling and a slight limp, but how to expect it get better without some "natural exercise" to it?

Back Home and getting creative

Finally I managed to get home and back to the freedom of walking round the apartment naked, chain smoking and blaring the stero with totally un-hip music...ok, so I no longer have Umi to bring me my morning coffee and toast, no Dory to ferry me around, bring me things, and no one to spoil me anymore. And NO Internet connection. But on the other hand, I got my statues to do.

I have allot of hobbies, creative ones. I am not particularly good at any of them and the "quality" of my work tends to depend on the mood but I do rather fancy myself as some eccentric bohemic archetype. I cannot just create, I need the mood, the conditions, the environment, the time and maybe only after hours or days of deep contemplation, I find inspiration.

Anyway, before my bum leg thing, I was commissioned to do 5 statues, similar to one I made 4 years ago (see pic). So came home and threw myself wholeheartedly into a creative over drive.

As with anything that remotely interests me, I have zero talent but loads of enthusiasm and perseverence. And then maybe, just maybe a "Smoochie original" is born!

Currently am doing the first two peices which, if I may say so myself, are looking aboslutely wonderous. So much so that I am not sure I will be able to bear to part with them. *sniff*

Karmic Purification

Since 20 something december, admist all the festive parties and doo das, all I have been hearing are accidents, sudden deaths, etc.

Fuzet got sandwhiched; My bum leg; Molly mowed down by runaway shopping cart in Tesco; GL's accident on highway; People falling into drains; etc etc

Seems there is no end to things happening all around. Am trying to see all this through the Buddhist ideal of purification. That all negativities are manifestations of negative karmas arising and that they will all lead to fewer obstacles in the coming new year (chinese new year, that is).

Ringtones and Casted

Fear of MRIs, expensive docs and surgical evaluation led me to hunt down Dr.Gee, old friend and brilliant doctor who insists on staying in public service instead of heading for the big bucks. I had previously tried to call him, but just got weird sounds like static and lightening on the other end - telcos got too much money, monopolies and now providing totally shitty service cos it's the new year and they don't want to pay their staff overtime.

First thing this morning, I vowed to get Dr. Gee and this time I just got a bunch of dogs barking... 20mins later I got waves... where the hell is he? Finally penny drops - these are all bum frigging RINGTONES!....dials.... again dogs bark, and barks and....

"Yes? who is this"

Bingo! My whole bum leg saga came out and "Come and meet me in GH later and we'll do a finger MRI"

Finger MRI = seeing a leg's ability to move will indicate it's capability and assess the seriousness of damage and the actual necessity of an MRI - sounds good no?

"ahhh, nothing serious damaged, no major muscle involved, probably a minor ligament tear, need a half plaster cast, drugs, NO running around and see me in a couple of days!"

So ok, I may need to go to the worst hospital in KL but I actually begin to see recovery without big dollar signs...

Auld Lang Syne and Nearly Jailed

Happppy New Year! "May all your dreams and wishes..." blah blah blah. The most ME one I got last night was :

"If you had sex 365 times last year and kept all the condoms and melt them, you can make a tyre and actually call it a GOODYEAR!"

So I forward to all my buddies on mass of which the funniest reply came from a Tarbush!

"I don't use condom, If I used glove, I get a few tyres... a few GOODYEARS!"

Incidentally, 31st Jan is also Webbie's Birthday! So Dory did a dinner and drinks thing at home with a few friends and ME! Webbie donned her new black wings. Fairy finally introduced us to Fandy, the illusive boyfriend who is now moving to KL and well, he looks "orwhite" so far, quite chatty with a decent sense of humor who seemed comfortable being the only "male" guest and willing to just hang out with us. I am a little worried though, he seems to have developed a fondness for the twins, "cookie-wookie", and kept fondling them and making "cookie" sing the stupid ditty "I am a boy and you are a girl..."

Webbie's Mom cooked up a totally homemade noodle soup, a roast chicken and Vietnamese rolls.. I love that woman! Webbie did the punch and the cinnamon mulled wine...

Fanda showed up just after midnight and was aghast at the bum leg, which happened to have swelled grotesquely and hardened, and shortly after one, when everyone started leaving, he, Dory and Webbie decide that it is high time I was carted off get my leg sorted out once and for all. So we arrived at A & E at Pantai where I was promptly told that I had a temperature, my leg was probably infected and I needed to be admitted. The thought of hospital bills was incredibly terrifying, NO wifi and NO SMOKING... agghhh! My 3 angels all thought admission was the best and before I knew it, Dory came and told me Fanda had charged up the deposits to his credit card, got me a SINGLE room and admitted me. My hero!

Whilst I was whisked off to get an x-ray, Dory and Webbie, ran home, packed up my precious "lumpy" and "cookie-wookie", a selection of trash for me to read, and a packet of chips.

The x-ray showed NO broken bones or even fractures and upon being wheeled back to A & E, Fanda (My hero!) was throwing a fit (hospital staff only spoke Malinglish and probably couldn't understand him), and all my toys were with me to comfort me throughout a long lonely fagless night.... Feeling incredibly guilty for causing a party-less night, I assured everyone I would be ok and urged them off home.

The on-call Ortho that night came 20mins later and pronounced that I have to get an MRI and assess the necessity of surgery, but only available 3 days later! So what's the benefit of being admitted right there and then? Huge payment to hospital (even at Fanda's expense) and tasteless food??!!! NO way !!!!

"errrr.. Dory!! can you pick me up??... Like right now????"

5am... back in Dory's living room puffing a fag, lighter by RM500.00, heavier by a pair of crutches and a bag of drugs.