Auld Lang Syne and Nearly Jailed

Happppy New Year! "May all your dreams and wishes..." blah blah blah. The most ME one I got last night was :

"If you had sex 365 times last year and kept all the condoms and melt them, you can make a tyre and actually call it a GOODYEAR!"

So I forward to all my buddies on mass of which the funniest reply came from a Tarbush!

"I don't use condom, If I used glove, I get a few tyres... a few GOODYEARS!"

Incidentally, 31st Jan is also Webbie's Birthday! So Dory did a dinner and drinks thing at home with a few friends and ME! Webbie donned her new black wings. Fairy finally introduced us to Fandy, the illusive boyfriend who is now moving to KL and well, he looks "orwhite" so far, quite chatty with a decent sense of humor who seemed comfortable being the only "male" guest and willing to just hang out with us. I am a little worried though, he seems to have developed a fondness for the twins, "cookie-wookie", and kept fondling them and making "cookie" sing the stupid ditty "I am a boy and you are a girl..."

Webbie's Mom cooked up a totally homemade noodle soup, a roast chicken and Vietnamese rolls.. I love that woman! Webbie did the punch and the cinnamon mulled wine...

Fanda showed up just after midnight and was aghast at the bum leg, which happened to have swelled grotesquely and hardened, and shortly after one, when everyone started leaving, he, Dory and Webbie decide that it is high time I was carted off get my leg sorted out once and for all. So we arrived at A & E at Pantai where I was promptly told that I had a temperature, my leg was probably infected and I needed to be admitted. The thought of hospital bills was incredibly terrifying, NO wifi and NO SMOKING... agghhh! My 3 angels all thought admission was the best and before I knew it, Dory came and told me Fanda had charged up the deposits to his credit card, got me a SINGLE room and admitted me. My hero!

Whilst I was whisked off to get an x-ray, Dory and Webbie, ran home, packed up my precious "lumpy" and "cookie-wookie", a selection of trash for me to read, and a packet of chips.

The x-ray showed NO broken bones or even fractures and upon being wheeled back to A & E, Fanda (My hero!) was throwing a fit (hospital staff only spoke Malinglish and probably couldn't understand him), and all my toys were with me to comfort me throughout a long lonely fagless night.... Feeling incredibly guilty for causing a party-less night, I assured everyone I would be ok and urged them off home.

The on-call Ortho that night came 20mins later and pronounced that I have to get an MRI and assess the necessity of surgery, but only available 3 days later! So what's the benefit of being admitted right there and then? Huge payment to hospital (even at Fanda's expense) and tasteless food??!!! NO way !!!!

"errrr.. Dory!! can you pick me up??... Like right now????"

5am... back in Dory's living room puffing a fag, lighter by RM500.00, heavier by a pair of crutches and a bag of drugs.